Ninety Nine Bad Things

... or "Who's got the list?"

  1. People who think that continuous assessment is invariably a good thing. It isn't. Continuous assessment is a system whereby even the doziest student can pass if they trudge along valiantly and display not one ounce of applied intelligence. While this may be great for the next generation of Job Centre staff, it is of little worth in the real world. Would you rather have the slow-but-sure plodder thinking inside the box or would you rather have an innovator who won't turn to jelly when put under real pressure? I thought so.
  2. The assumption that every noun has a corresponding verb and vice-versa. Yes, I'm looking at you, marketing guys!
  3. Tennis commentators (and summarisers and analysts and ...) who seem to think that one tournament is a Grand Slam. It isn't. A Grand Slam in tennis is to win all the four majors in the same discipline in the same calendar year. Call the individual tournaments "majors" if you wish - that's fine, but stop diminishing the Grand Slam. What the hell are you going to call it when someone (Nadal, Djokovic?) finally achieves it?
  4. Everyone (but particularly those on radio or television) who says "forward slash" when they mean "slash". If you are one of those people consider for a moment if you would actually say "forward space". No? Then why do it for slashes?
  5. Any journalist (but particularly those on radio or television (are we spotting a pattern here?) who reports on "what social media are saying". This is a clear indication that they have no understanding of social media at all. Why else would they parrot back to us what we clearly already think?
  6. Harriet Harman.
  7. Russell "talentless" Brand.
  8. The EU. I mean, really. Where to start? The thoroughly pointless and wasteful Cookie Law? The VATMESS? The unbridled corruption which would make Mugabe dumbstruck with awe at its vastness? It's all a complete fiasco on an unimaginable scale. There would appear to be not one single person with an ounce of both competence and benevolence in the entire edifice. When we do finally get out it will not be one second too soon.